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Deconile

Nah, they won’t get it.

And another comment goes unsent.


The Weekend Ramble

Been a while since I’ve done one so I may wrap in a few previous on this. I think it’s mostly due to the fact that my brain is about the consistency of a smoothie at the end of the week and trying to live in a vegetative state always seems to be the goal.

Spent a good chunk of the weekend doing laundry. I’ve made the grown up decision that wearing the same work clothes three weeks in a row is a bit too long. Two weeks is alright, but three is just being lazy. I found a lone sock hiding in the corner after I had already done the rest, so he’s not getting done this round. And if he thinks I’m going to hand wash him then he’s clearly out of his little sock mind. He’s going straight to the bottom of an empty hamper, alone and unwashed.

Last weekend I went to my nephew’s birthday party. He’s almost taller than me, but I think I can still take him. I do have the weight advantage and a solid twenty years of life’s bitterness over him. He asked for money for driver’s ed as a gift as if he thinks I’m that old already. Nice try kid.

I was in the grocery store the other day and found a bag of those mini M&M’s right along with the rest of them. I admit I may have been a little over-excited. While grabbing a bag from the shelf, my first thought was wondering if they have these in one of those plastic kiddie pool sizes.

Monopoly is back at McDonald’s just in case you wanted to feel like you’re playing a game you’ll never win all for the chance at a dixie cup of ice cream to offset the several now $10 bags of shit you bought.

Someone remind me to keep napkins in my car so next time I’m having a sneezing fit and veering nearby cars off the interstate I don’t have to blow my nose into my shirt. Don’t ewwwww me! This is life or death.

I understand that some people are bored at work and can be chatty, but do you think we can keep the time down to a minimum? I just came in here for a pastry and a chocolate milk. We’re not hanging out on your porch drinking beers and bullshitting about nothing. Just ring it up so I can go back to not interacting with the living thanks.

How long does orange juice last? Like, four months? I sure hope so.

Are people still really eating those little freshener packets they put in food? The entire packet is a warning label to not eat it. I guess evolution hasn’t full caught up for some when the thought in their head is, “I have all this delicious jerky, but I wonder what this little sealed bag of chemicals tastes like.” My guess is poison. I would wager that a little bag of chemicals probably tastes like poison.

Alright, back to not thinking before I have to do way too much of it tomorrow.


Contract: Terminated

After working as a contractor at my current job going on almost two years now, I just received the word from above that my contract will be terminated at the end of the year. Anywhere between now and that time, I’ve been told that I will be hired on as an actual employee. After all these years, I’m finally going to be a real boy.


Oh hey there, man. You looking at stuff on your phone? That’s cool. Do you think you could pry your attention away from it for two seconds and get the hell off the elevator? Some of us that can walk around in the non-virtual without having a phone permanently attached to our face need to get to other places within reality.


Coming up next, on this show…

"The entire series of events in this episode in twenty seconds. Events that would have better with some build up shown. Questions that have been gnawing at you for over a year revealed immediately. Situations that would have been tense spoiled. Something that would have been exciting and suspenseful dulled. Just about the entire episode flashed before your eyes. All the suspence and emotional impact now gone from this show, starts now. Fuck you."


Hey, I see that you are playing a game on your phone. Do you want to conntect to Facebook?

No, I don’t want to connect to Facebook.

Maybe that app you’re using? Do you want to connect that to Facebook?

No, I don’t want to connect to Facebook.

How about your music? Do you want to connect your music to Facebook?

No, I don’t want to connect my music to Facebook.

I see you’re at a restaurant. Do you want to connect this restaurant to Facebook?

Jesus. No, I don’t want to connect to Facebook.

How about your sandwich? Do you want to connect your sandwich to Facebook?

Oh for fuck sake no I don’t want to connect my sandwich to Facebook!

How about that thing stuck to the bottom of your shoe? Do you want to connect that thing stuck to your shoe to Facebook?

NO FACEBOOK FAK OFF!



Well thank you, mysterious random note stuck to my monitor.


littlerunnergurl replied to your photo:There is a pair of scissors sitting on the counter…

DIY circumcision….

That’s what the long blade paper trimmer is for.



There is a pair of scissors sitting on the counter in the mens room. Why is there a pair of scissors sitting on the counter in the mens room? For what purpose would someone bring them in here? Did something need cutting that just couldn’t wait any longer? Was someone doing arts and crafts in here? Has multi-tasking gotten that out of control? Is this manscaping that just needed to be done during the lunch hour? I’ve seen people brush their teeth in here but that’s going too far. Are they here in case of a pube-zipper emergency? Why is there a pair of scissors in the mens room?! 


We

It’s truly amazing how often this word gets thrown around the workplace. I’m all for team work, but let’s not forget that it takes multiple individuals to make a “WE”. But people tend to think that somehow anything that happens within a project they are working on, the duties and responsibilities also belong to them. That somehow the time for specific tasks is also theirs. Most of these people are of controlling and/or untrusting personalities. And that every microsecond of time spent somehow, even though they will personally never spend any of it on something they don’t/can’t do, relates to them.

So, they say things like, “We don’t have time for that.” Oh really? Well then, I guess it’s a good thing that, WE, aren’t doing it. WE, aren’t doing my job. YOU, are going to go sit at your desk and do your own portion of the project or goof around on Facebook or shop for shoes or whatever other time-suck you’re doing that, WE, don’t seem to have time for. On the other hand, I, have been given plenty of time. So considering that, I, am going to be doing the work necessary to get it done while, YOU, are going to be spending your time not doing, MY, job, I’d say that, WE, have plenty of time for that. WE, aren’t doing it.


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